What If My Kid Wants to Live with My Ex and I Don't Agree?

 Posted on July 31, 2025 in Divorce / Family Law

What happens when a child starts asking questions like, "Can I live with Dad instead?" or "What if I want to stay with Mom full time?" In Illinois family courts, children do not get to make custody decisions on their own. Still, their voices can matter, especially if they are mature enough to express their preferences in a way the court finds relevant.

As a parent, hearing that your child wants to live with your ex can leave you feeling betrayed, heartbroken, and confused. But before you react, it is important to understand what Illinois law says about a child’s wishes, and what you can do when your parenting plan no longer seems to reflect your child’s reality. Our Geneva, IL child custody attorney can help. 

Does a Child Get to Choose Where to Live in Illinois?

Under Illinois law, a child does not get to decide which parent they live with. That authority rests with the court. However, under Section 602.7 of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/602.7), a child’s preferences can be considered, depending on the child’s age, maturity, and ability to articulate their reasoning.

Judges do not base custody orders solely on a child’s wishes. Instead, the court considers a long list of "best interest" factors, including how the child is doing in school, how stable each parent’s home is, and the willingness of each parent to support the child’s relationship with the other parent.

When Will a Judge Listen to a Child in a Custody Hearing?

Illinois law does not set a magic age when a child’s opinion suddenly counts. That said, courts generally give more weight to the wishes of children aged 14 and up, especially if the child is mature and the request is consistent over time.

Judges may also appoint a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or a Child Representative to interview the child and investigate the family dynamics. These professionals report back to the court with recommendations, which often shape the outcome of the case. Children sometimes feel unheard or caught in the middle during divorce proceedings, and a GAL can serve as a neutral adult voice dedicated to upholding their best interests.

Can I Be Forced to Give Up Custody if My Child Wants to Live with My Ex?

If your ex files a petition to modify custody, the court finds that a significant change in circumstances has occurred that warrants a change to your custody order, and that the change is in your child’s best interests, it is possible that the custody order could be amended. That is why it is essential not to wait until a hearing is scheduled to seek legal help.

Do not assume that just because your child is doing well in your care, the court will automatically deny the request. The court looks at the full picture, including how well you and your ex manage to co-parent, how transitions are handled, and whether the current arrangement is still working for your child.

What Should I Do If My Child Wants to Switch Homes?

Start by listening. Your child may be struggling with things they do not know how to express. Stay calm, ask questions, and take notes. Then, talk to your attorney. You need to understand your rights, your options, and how to best protect your relationship with your child, even if that relationship is being tested.

You may also want to consider family therapy or mediation to work through the emotional layers of the situation. A child asking for a change does not always mean something is wrong, but it does mean it is time to take the request seriously.

Contact a Geneva, IL Child Custody Lawyer

If you are facing a potential custody modification or just need legal guidance, call Loire Krajniak Law, LLC at 630-448-2406 to schedule a free consultation with a Kane County, IL child custody attorney for parents with kids who want to change where they live. We help parents find solutions that protect their rights and support their children.