How Do Narcissists Make Divorce Harder?

 Posted on August 29, 2025 in Divorce / Family Law

When one spouse shows strong narcissistic traits, the divorce process can become far more stressful and drawn out. Narcissism is not just selfishness. It often includes manipulation, lack of empathy, and a need for control. If you are divorcing a narcissist, you should be prepared for unique challenges.

When one spouse is narcissistic, disputes over property, child custody, or support can quickly escalate, making it difficult to reach a settlement. If you are getting divorced and suspect your spouse is a narcissist, talk to an Oswego, Illinois divorce attorney early to come up with a strategy to protect yourself. 

Why Do Narcissists Make Divorce More Complicated?

A narcissistic spouse may treat divorce as a battle to win, not a process to resolve. Common tactics include:

• Refusing to negotiate or compromise on financial and parenting matters

• Using the children to exert control or inflict guilt

• Making false accusations to gain an advantage in court

• Hiding assets or refusing to provide financial documents

• Constantly filing motions to delay or frustrate the process

These behaviors are designed to exhaust the other spouse emotionally and financially. Judges are experienced in spotting such tactics, but they can still slow down the case and increase costs.

How Can Narcissistic Behavior Affect Child Custody?

Illinois law requires custody decisions to be made in the best interests of the child under 750 ILCS 5/602.5. A narcissistic parent may attempt to use parenting time as a tool of control. They may insist on unreasonable schedules or try to paint the other parent as "unfit."

Because judges focus heavily on stability and the child’s well-being, a parent’s manipulative conduct can backfire. Still, these conflicts often require strong evidence, such as testimony from teachers, doctors, or therapists, to show how the child is being affected.

What Should You Expect During Property Division if You Are Divorcing a Narcissist?

As of August 2025, Illinois divorce law still follows the principle of equitable distribution under 750 ILCS 5/503, which means property is divided fairly but not always equally. In Illinois, both marital and nonmarital property must be identified before division. 

A narcissistic spouse may try to undervalue property, hide accounts, or delay sharing information. This behavior can drag out the process and make equitable distribution more difficult. For example, a spouse might transfer funds to a separate account or conceal assets in a business. An experienced divorce attorney can request subpoenas, financial records, and forensic accounting to uncover hidden property.

How Can You Protect Yourself if You Are Divorcing a Narcissist?

If you are divorcing a narcissist, preparation is key. You should expect conflict and plan ahead. Before you even file for divorce, keep thorough documentation of communications, finances, and parenting issues. Limit direct contact with your spouse and communicate in writing when possible.

If you feel it would be helpful, you may want to seek counseling or support groups to manage the emotional strain. Finally, work closely with a divorce lawyer who understands these dynamics and can anticipate the challenges of divorcing a narcissist. 

Contact an Oswego, IL Divorce Lawyer

If your spouse’s narcissism is making divorce overwhelming, you do not have to go through it alone. A Kendall County family law attorney at Loire Krajniak Law, LLC can protect your rights and help you navigate these challenges. Call 630-448-2406 today to schedule a free consultation and learn more about your options.